


Mixed Media

by Sistermine



Category: Eagle - Fandom
Genre: Modern AU, Multi, Multiple relationships but not threesomes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:39:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sistermine/pseuds/Sistermine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marcus and Cottia are a cute couple, always have been.  They look so good together in all those gossip magazines.  Of course, you haven't seen them in person for ages - not that you're avoiding them or anything, it's just, who wants to spend time in London?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Modern AU  
> Warning: Mention of family death. Marcus and Cottia have an open relationship.  
> Un-beta-ed early fanfic written for LJ's Eagle kinkmeme.  
> Disclaimer: No offence intended or profit made.

"Esca, how's things?"  
  
"Marcus! Hello. Not so bad. Haven't heard from you in ages. How're you doing? How's Cottia?"  
  
"She's good thanks. We're good. Well. As good as we ever were."  
  
"Aah. Is that why you've broken your self-imposed rule on ringing me? What's up?"  
  
"No, no. Nothing's wrong. It's good. But. I do need your help ... if you're willing."  
  
"OK, spill. What's the matter?"  
  
"…"  
  
"Marcus, tell me or I can't help."  
  
"Look, can we meet in person? This is a bit hard over the phone."  
  
"OK. Are you going to come up here? I'm not planning to be in London for at least a month."  
  
"Yeah, I can do that. Tomorrow?"  
  
"You're really in a hurry aren't you? Let me look at my diary... I've got an engagement tomorrow evening, but someone's cancelled on me so I could do lunch at 12.30."  
  
"Great. I'll be there. Shall I come to your offices?"  
  
"Yeah. I'll take you round the corner, there's a nice Italian place, you'll like it."  
  
"OK. And ... thanks Esca."  
  
"Well, see you tomorrow then."  
  
"Yeah, til tomorrow. Ciao."  
  
"Bye."  
  
**  
  
God, the bastard, he looks as good as ever.  
  
Esca stood up and walked round from behind his desk. “Thanks Mira. Marcus, come here, it's good to see you”.  
  
He feels as good as ever too. Be still my heart. Remember, it was mutual.  
  
“Hello Esca. I've missed you.” As Marcus kept his long arms folded round Esca, he let the feeling ground him.  
  
“Yeah, me too man.” Esca broke away and stepped back, walking across the office to get his coat. “Come on, let's go out. I'm intrigued, but I know you're not going to tell me til your belly's full. But don't wait too long, I only have an hour. So tell me about everyone else, how's your uncle?”  
  
*  
  
True to form, Esca thought, as Marcus put his fork down and looked up, green eyes vulnerable. He looked back and raised an eyebrow. “Are you ready to tell me whatever it is you're going to tell me now?”  
  
“Yeah”. Marcus still hesitated. “Look. I feel an idiot now asking you this but it seemed like a good idea when Cottia suggested it.”  
  
“Spit. It. Out.”  
  
“OK. I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend for a couple of months.” Marcus looked at him earnestly.  
  
Esca thought his hearing had gone funny and frowned, opened his mouth, closed it again, and then said, “Cottia suggested this?”  
  
Marcus nodded.  
  
“Marcus, I know I'm the one in sales, but you're going to have to give me the pitch.”  
  
“OK..." Marcus fiddled with his cutlery and then looked up again. "I'm trying to get a part in a new film. A brilliant film. A really good part. And to cut to the chase, the director's a lesbian, the part's a gay man, and they want to cast someone who's not scared to be out. And they want to give gay actors a chance at a good role. Everyone knows I'm bi, but that's not really good enough, especially since Cottia's the only person they see me out with.”  
  
Esca could feel ringing in his ears and he felt suddenly sick “You're not joking are you?”  
  
“No. I know it's a lot to ask, and yes, before you start, I know how insulting it is to gay actors everywhere, but it’s not like it hasn’t been true, sort of … and now that you're out, I thought, maybe...” Marcus tailed off.  
  
“Cottia suggested it?” Esca was losing his grip. “That's pretty calculating even for her.”  
  
For the first time a look of something harder crossed Marcus's face. “She thought... Listen, this was a stupid idea. I'm sorry I asked you - “  
  
Esca interrupted him, “I haven't said no, Marcus”.  
  
“No, but... you're … You look pale just thinking about it.”  
  
“I... I'm just surprised.” Esca sat back in his chair and looked at Marcus. “Look, can we backtrack a bit. I feel like I haven't seen you for so long. We didn't get much of a chance to catch up at Luke and Penelope's wedding, did we.”  
  
Marcus smiled at him: truce. “You were off on some fancy trip for work, I remember”  
  
“Yeah. That was, um, Malaysia I think.”  
  
“It's the Hawaiian shirt that I remember most.”  
  
Esca laughed and looked down; his current attire was the epitome of sober, as always. “Oh yes. I'd forgotten that. That was a dare by Penelope. I don't think she thought I'd take it as far as her actual wedding, but it was worth it for how much it made her laugh at the reception before I left.”  
  
“It looked great. Very memorable.”  
  
Esca looked up. He looked at Marcus smiling at him now, but he was seeing him that day, dancing with Cottia. Dancing with everyone, but looking particularly right with Cottia. No sign of his knee problems; smooth and sweet. They always looked fantastic together; a publicist's dream team.  
  
Huh.  
  
Ironic that this time the dream team wasn't the right image.  
  
*  
  
The man at the bar who kept looking at him was in one of his lectures, he was pretty sure. Esca felt the familiar rush of attraction and considered his options. University was a time for experimenting wasn't it? Yes it was, and his Dad couldn't see him here. So far as he could tell, he was well under the radar – no-one was interested in the third son of an advertising magnate from the North-east.  
  
The next time the guy looked up, Esca held his gaze and smiled, lifting his glass. The man smiled, a little surprised, then slid off his stool picking up his pint. When he came through the noisy crowd and squeezed in next to Esca, Esca realised how big he was, and fought to keep his eyes from widening. Instead he took a breath and that was his next mistake; this man smelt gorgeous. He tipped his head at Esca's drink and spoke above the noise, “Can I get you another?”  
  
Esca looked up at him, smiled and said equally loudly, “Actually, I think I've had enough. Do you want some coffee, my room's near?”  
  
“Thanks,” the man nodded, surprised again. Esca reached down for his bag and lugged it onto his shoulder, stepping off his own stool and moving away from the bar. The man said, “Do you want a hand?” Esca burst out laughing, and said, “I'm not a girl you know, I can carry my own books.”  
  
The man laughed back and said, “I'm very aware you're not a girl. Doesn't stop me being a gentleman though.”  
  
Esca quirked an eyebrow at him as they reached the open air, and led the way off to the side. “Is that what you are?” He could feel his palms itching with the desire to put them on the big guy's body.  
  
“Sometimes.”  
  
It was quite hard to look at each other and walk this fast across campus. Esca tried to remember what state he'd left his room as they reached the block entrance and he flashed his card at the reader. The man held the door for him, giving him an ironic wave-through and a large grin.  
  
One flight of stairs didn't account for how hard his heart was beating as he said, “This is mine. Come in.” He walked through the door and dumped his bag on the desk, turning to look. The tall man shut the door, and came towards him, saying, “So, tell me your name before I kiss you.”  
  
Esca laughed, and said, “What, no coffee?”, but put his hands on the guy's shoulders as hands went round his waist.  
  
“My name's Marcus”, the man said as he pulled Esca closer, leaning his head down but pausing, saying, “Quick, tell me.”  
  
Esca's smile stretched wider. “Hello Marcus. I'm Esca.”  
  
“Mmmm, hello Esca,” Marcus closed the gap, and their lips met.  
  
He felt Marcus leading the kiss, tipping Esca's weight to rest on him. He felt ... well, right, as his mouth was opened and tongue-filled: he pushed back and felt Marcus giving, letting him take control, and he put his hand round Marcus's neck, pulling his head into the right angle so that they fitted together perfectly. His balance had gone, but Marcus held him, firmly, in equilibrium.  
  
He slid his other hand down Marcus's chest and under his shirt, and Marcus responded by moving his hands down onto Esca's buttocks, pressing their bodies together. He heard himself breath in abruptly as he felt Marcus's groin push against his hip bone, and he pressed nearer, one leg slightly to the side with Marcus's strong thigh between his legs.  
  
He knew he was making an undignified noise, but this was incredible. He grabbed a handful of Marcus's t-shirt and pulled it up, at the same time trying to walk them both backwards towards the bed.  
  
Somehow, they got rid of their shirts and then they were lying on the bed, Marcus holding his weight up off Esca, kissing down from his neck towards his nipple, and circling it softly, then beginning to move his tongue further down. Esca felt the spark arc through him at the touch, and his lower body involuntarily arched upwards as he gasped out, “I’ve never done this before... with a man.”  
  
Esca was aware of Marcus pulling up, looking at his face. He wondered if he should have said it, but ... he wasn't ashamed, just inexperienced. He hoped it didn't put Marcus off, 'cos he wasn't sure he could stop, now.  
  
Marcus was holding Esca's arms to his sides. “Jesus, Esca.” He sounded strained, but went back to licking slowly down Esca's stomach, then paused, looking up again. “In the interests of full disclosure, I have done this before, but I should also tell you I've got a girlfriend.” His green eyes sparkled up at Esca, who gazed back at him, head tilted up on the headboard of his narrow student bed, riveted.  
  
Esca felt his brain wander off: I hadn't really expected to be bringing people so much bigger back here when I made the decision to take an ordinary student room; maybe I could get a bigger bed?  
  
Marcus went on, interrupting the thoughts; “Do you mind?”  
  
“Not at this moment.” Esca wasn’t really thinking at all at the moment. But some connection was buzzing in his brain.  
  
Marcus smiled, tipped his head, and swirled his tongue over Esca's boxers in the V of his open zip, finding his penis and pressing his tongue down on it whilst looking up.  
  
Esca moaned at the sight. Then the words Marcus had said before joined up into meaning. He pulled himself together. “Wait. Wait." He moved higher up the bed, away from Marcus’s teasing. "You're going to have to talk to me now you've started. You have a girlfriend? Is it serious?”  
  
Marcus crossed his arms across Esca's legs and rested his chin, smiling up at him casually. “Everyone thinks we're going to get married.”  
  
Esca narrowed his eyes. “So it is serious?”  
  
Marcus tilted his head. “No ... well, yes... Yes, it's serious, but... I love her. She loves me. But it's not a forever kind of love, and we're not planning to get married or anything like it - that’s just our folks. We're pretty good at talking about, well, everything, and she's cool with this.”  
  
“This. Do you do this often then?”  
  
“Actually, no. But I don't lie to her, and my folks know we sometimes ...see ... other people, though they like the fact we're together – it means they can ignore the gay thing.”  
  
“The bi thing?”  
  
“Well, yes, the bi thing.”  
  
Esca looked at Marcus, feeling tension build in his back. Marcus was gently kneading his knees through his jeans, looking quite calm still. Esca didn't feel calm, but he didn't really know what he was feeling. This wasn't quite how he'd seen tonight going. He blanked, “I'm not ... I'm not even sure what I am...”  
  
“Well, if this is the first time.” Marcus smiled; “You seemed pretty confident picking me up in the bar.”  
  
“Yeah.” Esca gave him a wry smile. “I don’t know where that came from..." Suddenly, he needed to tell Marcus this stuff. "I've had girlfriends. And I was good at picking them up. A lot of them were ... good girls; I liked them; I enjoyed being with them; I think they were relieved I never pressured them for sex. It might sound stupid, but I didn't really know... about this.” He gestured between them, and went on: “My father is … well he's a big cheese where I come from, and he's a bit of a puritan; a big name in the local church. Me and my brothers, we've all had to toe the line, and not bring the family name into disrepute. I ...", he faltered, "I've never wanted anyone much.”  
  
“So. Tonight? asked Marcus gently. “What was that about?”  
  
Esca looked at Marcus. “I wanted you.” He didn't know what to do now.  
  
“Wanted,” Marcus nodded. “Fair enough,” he said but his face had fallen.  
  
Esca could feel tension beginning to seize his muscles as Marcus lifted up off him and sat back. He said, “Marcus, I don't know what I want right now. You're... well, you're a lot more sorted than I feel. I'm sorry to mess you around.”  
  
Marcus tipped his head sideways, and gave that grin again. “Look, don't sweat it. I come with baggage; you're not sure, and you shouldn't push yourself.” He came up onto his knees and walked his hands closer, leant forwards and brushed his lips gently across Esca's mouth; “especially not the first time.” He put a hand on the headboard for support and kissed Esca again, properly. Esca opened his mouth and kissed Marcus back, putting one hand on Marcus's face and enjoying the sensation for its own sake.  
  
Marcus eventually pulled away, lashes lowered, and then looked up into Esca's eyes; “But if you want another try, come and find me.” He climbed off the bed, grabbing his shirt as he went and walked over to the desk, pulling his phone out of his pocket and looking around for a pen, scrawling on Esca's notes then putting his shirt on. “That's my number. Whatever you want, you decide. If you just want to be friends,” he looked at Esca, eyebrows raised, “that's cool. If you want more than that, let me know.”  
  
Esca nodded, feeling a bit shaky and pulling his knees up. Marcus walked to the door and turned, looking slightly less sure of himself . Then, reverting to cocky, he said “Not to pressure you, but I think you're gorgeous. I claim first dibs.”  
  
Esca laughed and blew him a kiss. “Good night Marcus. And thanks. For being a gentleman.”  
  
Marcus smiled, and opened the door. “Good night Esca.”  
  
When the door closed with a quiet snick, Esca put his face on his knees and waited for the feeling to go away.  
  
*  
  
 _Daily Rag  
October 17th  
  
Play Boys  
  
Ramone Vargas, Magpies’ promising new striker, struck a match under England’s football culture of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Even Hint last weekend.  
  
Cavorting at various clubs before leaving hand in hand with another eligible playboy - allegedly Esca MacCunoval, 3rd son of Big Mac, recent graduate and new recruit to Daddy’s firm - Ramone seems to have found Madrid in Newcastle. “It’s cold up here,” he was quoted, “but Geordies are hot.”  
  
A spokeswoman for MacCunoval’s refused to comment on the rumours, saying their quarterly forecast was more important than gossip.  
  
Contact our blog to give your opinion._  
  
*  
  
“How is Cottia? She getting much work; I haven't seen her face quite so much recently?”  
  
Marcus looked up at him; careful, cautious. “She's well, and getting as much work as ever. She'll be in Italy for the next few days on a shoot.” He cocked an eyebrow at Esca, and added, “She sends her love.”  
  
Esca huffed a laugh. “Yeah, well; send her mine too.”  
  
It was Marcus's turn to laugh. He drank from his water glass, and asked, “What's going on with you? How's the vice president of sales these days?”  
  
“I'm good. The company's doing quite well - surprisingly in this climate - and I enjoy it.”  
  
“You look well.” Marcus paused, and then appeared to gather himself together. “I know you don't have much time left so... What do you think about my request? ... Is it a no -- or is there anything else you want to ask before deciding?”  
  
 _I'm going to regret this aren't I?_  
  
Esca studied Marcus for a moment and then leant forwards onto his elbows. “Your timing's good; there's no-one special around at the moment.” He took a deep breath. “What's the deal then; what would I have to do?”  
  
“Well,” Marcus frowned, thinking, and counted off on his fingers: “You'd have to be seen with me out and about – a lot at first, but not so much after that. I could come up here if it's hard for you to get away, or you don't want to spend more time in London." He lifted another finger. "We'd have to be photographed together, but my agent is pretty good at organising that sort of thing." Third finger. You'd have to be prepared to say we were together, if anyone asked you; maybe an interview or two, but you don't have to do that unless you're OK with it." Marcus lifted the fourth finger and pressed it to his lips as he looked at Esca under his lashes. It was unconscious, but Esca felt the familiar tug. Bastard. "Preferably not go out with anyone else whilst we were doing it.” Marcus paused, waving his hand. "That's it I think."  
  
Esca's mind churned. This was probably such a bad idea – he'd have to actually spend time with Marcus and look like he was enjoying it. He probably would enjoy it. Up to a point. “How long would we have to do it for?”  
  
“I honestly don't know. A couple of months should be enough to convince them that it isn't just a … one-off kind of thing, and should fit their casting timetable, as far as we can tell.”  
  
Esca stopped himself from biting his lip. He put on the mask that protected him from Marcus and all the ridiculous things he was now feeling. He said haughtily, “Two months with no sex. That's quite an ask.”  
  
He was goading Marcus, and he wondered if Marcus would make the old joke. He knew he shouldn't do it. He was just as likely to fall into the old traps.  
  
Marcus looked at him earnestly. “Yes it is. I know it is. Esca. You're the only person I'd dream of asking something like this.”  
  
OK. Full marks to Marcus; avoiding a pitfall and doing the "earnest". He needed ammunition. “And what about Cottia? Are you still going to be seeing her?”  
  
“No. We'll have a public break-up, and I won't see her during the period of the relationship.”  
  
“What does she think of that?”  
  
“I told you, it was her idea.” Marcus went on in response to Esca's raised eyebrows. “She wants me to get the part, and is prepared to … move to the background to make it happen. She thought you might be willing because she knows how...” Marcus paused. “She knows I trust you.”  
  
“And how are you going to deal with the press when their darling apparently gets dumped by some upstart film actor?”  
  
Marcus laughed a little. “All publicity is good publicity? My agent will be in on it, and possibly Cottia's, and they'll spin it.”  
  
“Who else will know it's fake?”  
  
“No-one from my side. The fewer the better I think.”  
  
“And aftewards? Say you get the part. Will you come clean at some point?”  
  
“Well. No, I don’t think so, unless you need it to happen for some reason. I'd say either way, whether I get the part or not, at some point we have an amicable split … but stay friends.”  
  
Esca quirked an eyebrow. “Just like now.”  
  
Marcus looked down and then up again. “Kind of.”  
  
Esca was aware of time pressing on. He felt slightly drunk, despite having had no alcohol at all. He looked at Marcus, unsmiling for a moment. “OK,” he said, nodding. “When do we start?”  
  
*  
  
  Esca lay staring across his large bedroom at the faint light behind the curtain, and tried to sleep. It's just a favour to a friend, and a chance to see a bit more of Marcus. He knew he was vulnerable to Marcus's charm; he'd just have to be careful not to get sucked in – again - to Marcus's life and strange relationship choices. They were obviously working for him; he and Cottia seemed solid as ever, and now his career was taking off to match hers. They'd be a fine power couple. He should talk them into doing some ads for him.  
  
His stomach lurched. He shouldn't have drunk that last glass, but he'd needed something to keep him going; to cope with the nervous tension since saying goodbye to Marcus at lunch. A week; that's what he expected to wait before Marcus came up and started going out on the town with him. A week.  
  
*  
  
Cottia was intimidatingly tall. He wasn't sure if she stood really close on purpose to make him crane upwards or if it was part of her shortsightedness. She'd admired his glasses, but then confessed she was too vain to wear them herself and couldn't handle contacts as they made her eyes itch.  
  
It was turning into a long night.  
  
There'd been quite a few of them at the start of the evening; a weekend night out and a chance to meet Marcus's glamorous model girlfriend. He'd heard Luke and Cilla talking about her in awed tones, and had scoffed at them both, normally celebrity-averse and level-headed. “Come on Esca, she's gorgeousness personified,” said Cilla, “You can't help but be wow-ed by that kind of beauty.”  
  
It was true, she was beautiful. And ridiculously charming and unaffected. And looked wonderful next to Marcus, clearly besotted with him; they spent ages looking at each other. Esca fought down the urge to bolt, since they genuinely seemed to want to be with Marcus's friends, not just throw them out of Marcus's little house and screw each other senseless like the love gods they so clearly were.  
  
But suddenly nearly everyone had gone. Esca went to the loo before leaving himself; he'd walk back with Jack towards the Uni. As he came back to the kitchen, he heard Cottia's voice. “I don't think your new friend Esca likes me.” He couldn't hear Marcus's response and then Cottia was saying “Oh he's one of _those_ friends … no wonder. He's cute; I should have guessed.” He stopped short, not sure what to do, and taken aback. What had Marcus said? He _wasn't_ one of those friends - even though he might have been. Then he heard a noise behind him and Jack was bounding downstairs from the other bathroom, greeting him, “Are you ready to go then Esca? Leave the lovebirds to their gilded cage?” He managed to nod and laugh, as they went to finish their goodbyes.  
  
  
*  
  
Esca stood at the urinal waiting until he could pee. Dancing always turned him on, and the energy around tonight with all his friends here was incredible. Or maybe it was having a new girlfriend. Jaqui fitted in really well with their friends; she looked fantastic, danced well with him, and was funny.  
  
“So, where did you find her?” Marcus was suddenly next to him, smiling.  
  
He smiled back, relaxed and happy. It might all turn out well. “She's a friend of Joe's,“ he answered, aware he was slurring slightly; didn't take too many pints to blur his edges.  
  
“She's cute.”  
  
“Yeah, well, keep your hands off. I think she might stick around and I don't want her getting shop soiled.”  
  
Marcus raised an eyebrow. “As if I'd steal your girlfriends.” He sounded a bit drunk as well, and his gaze was unfocused as it dropped down Esca's body, then back up to his eyes with a quirk of his lips.  
  
“As if.” Esca zipped up and washed his hands, waiting for Marcus and going back out into the sweaty air.  
  
*  
  
Cilla was flicking through a colourful magazine in the rec at lunchtime. Esca sat down next to her and lifted the magazine up to check what it was, looking at her in a puzzled way; "Hello?"  
  
She laughed at his expression. “It's Cottia, and the tiniest glimpse of Marcus.” She opened the spread and pointed them out. The photo of Cottia, lavish red hair clashing stylishly with her billowing burgundy dress, had Marcus in sober dark blue behind her. The caption was something pointed about Camilla Hinds, model daughter of MP Forster Hinds, needing to lose weight for her latest ad campaign - some clothing label Esca had never heard of. Cilla was clucking. “It's absurd. She's pretty thin already, if she lost any more weight Marcus would snap her in half.”  
  
Esca smiled, and pulled the magazine out of her hands to have a closer look. He wondered to himself how many of their friends knew about Marcus and Cottia's special relationship. He'd kind of been adopted by Marcus's older friends, and had brought some of his own into the widening circle; Cilla was one of _his_ contacts, but at this rate it looked like she was going over to the dark side.  
  
So long as she didn't take Luke with her into the world of celebrity fandom. There were limits to how many friends he was going to let Marcus - and Cottia - poach.  
  
*  
  
The music was really loud and they'd given up trying to speak, just hit the dance floor. Esca wasn't sure what was up with Marcus tonight.  
  
He could be a bit antsy for days after Cottia'd gone, and often picked someone up. Esca normally watched him make his moves with humour and tried not to think too much about what happened once they were out of sight. Sometimes he didn't have to imagine too hard – Marcus could be pretty blatant on the dance floor. His signature move was holding someone from behind - sometimes a girl, more often a guy - swaying with the beat, his mouth on their neck and his effect on them obvious.  
  
Tonight he had danced chastely with a stream of young women, mostly in a group from one of the other student blocks. He didn't seem to be sticking with any one of them, and as time wound on he came over and danced near Esca, mouthing at him, “Are you ready to go?”  
  
Esca nodded and they pressed through the crowd, rescuing their things from under a chair. Marcus said, “Want to come back?”  
  
“OK, just for a while”; Esca followed him down the hill and they walked through the edge of the dark park waiting for their ears to stop ringing and chatting about nothing til they reached the shared house.  
  
Marcus's room was a tip, clothes piled high on both chairs, and papers all over the desk and bed. “Ugh,” Marcus cleared up the bed, “I'm right in the middle of this assignment; it's taking over.” He gestured for Esca to sit and went to put the kettle on next to his bed. “There's milk in the kitchen; do you want anything?”  
  
  “Yeah, but black tea's fine,” said Esca, slumping onto one end of the bed and stretching out backwards, closing his eyes. “I'm tired-er than I thought.” He smiled and cracked an eye open as Marcus's weight settled on the other end of the bed. Marcus swung bare feet up and poked them under Esca's thigh. “Are you ready for your tea?” He held out the mug and Esca shuffled to a half-sitting position, leaning his back against the wall and took a careful sip.  
  
Esca felt a bit worried; Marcus didn't seem his usual lively self. “How were things with Lady Camilla?”  
  
Marcus pulled a face; “Don't call her that, she's not a Lady.” He poked Esca with his toe and then slid his foot back under Esca's leg. “They're OK. It's hard sometimes. She's busy at the moment and I've got assignments stacking up. How about you – how are you doing without Gail?”  
  
“Oh, you know. Easy come, easy go. I liked her but it's not … I'm not heart-broken. Kind of miss the sex though – I don't really like one-night stands, and haven't clicked with anyone else recently.”  
  
There was a pause that made Esca look at Marcus. Marcus said casually, “You wanna have sex now?” He wriggled his toes under Esca's leg. “No big deal, just getting off?”  
  
Esca felt a jolt of surprise. He raised his eyebrows at Marcus; “You're something else. I don't know how you and Cottia do this, and Cottia's OK with it?”  
  
“I told you, we're just very open about it, so we both know what's going on and where we stand.” He reached forward and took Esca's empty mug from him, putting it on the bedside table. “Was that a yes? Come here.”  
  
Esca paused, then stopped trying to think. “OK. But, _my_ rules: no-one can know about this - except Cottia – and no PDAs tomorrow, remember.”  
  
He turned and crawled up over Marcus's legs. Marcus looked up at him, smiling as he put hands round his waist, “I'll try to remember, but you're just so huggable.”  
  
Esca leant down, hesitant, and then kissed Marcus, slowly tasting coffee and beer give way to just tongue as Marcus kissed him back, pulling him down and wrapping a hand up into his sweaty hair. The kiss opened up and they were grappling, Esca's knees forcing Marcus's legs apart and pressing their upper bodies together as Marcus tried to hold him in place.  
  
Marcus broke away, pushed him up onto his knees and went for his belt, opening his jeans and leaning forwards to push his face into Esca's groin, gripping his buttocks and holding him upright. He moaned as he felt the heat of Marcus's tongue through his briefs, and then Marcus was pulling jeans and briefs roughly down his thighs, holding him still with big hands at the top of his legs and sucking his cock into his wide hot mouth, eyes closed and dark hair sticking to his forehead.  
  
He couldn't stay upright like this, unbalanced and just gripping onto Marcus's shoulders for support as Marcus sucked him, no teasing. He swayed forwards and put a hand out to the wall in front, feeling the cool smoothness of a poster under his palm as he shivered. Marcus’s tongue set up a rapid rhythm and he closed his eyes, lost in the sensation.  
  
He felt a change in the rhythm and angle, and looked down to find Marcus's eyes open, looking up at him. _He's beautiful._ The thought slammed into him and his stomach flipped as their eyes locked. He struggled to regain his composure as he gazed at Marcus, not giving in, concentrating on the flecks of colour in those green eyes as a way of distracting himself from the intensity of his feelings. _It's only sex_.  
  
Marcus raised his eyebrows, almost smiling and then tightened his lips around him, a hand moving to press fingers between his buttocks, stroking his crease. Oh, it was on.  
  
He gripped Marcus's neck with his free hand and used his leverage on the wall to start fucking into Marcus's mouth. Marcus closed his eyes as one finger found Esca's hole and pressed in. Esca felt the coiling beginning and gasped Marcus's name, trying to pull back.  
  
  Marcus opened his eyes again and held him firmly, pulling him closer. Esca lost it as he felt his cock slide impossibly deeper, and gave in to the shuddering, making a strangled noise as he came. Marcus was pressing his forehead against Esca's abdomen as Esca pulsed down his throat.  
  
Marcus pulled off, still holding Esca up as he dropped forwards against the wall, Marcus kissing his stomach as he got his breath back. He twitched, laughing as Marcus tongued his navel, and leaned back, trying to sit but trapped by the clothes bundled around his knees. He caught sight of his hand, black ink from the poster across his palm, and tried to wipe it on his jeans. Marcus shifted, pushing him back, leaving his thighs arched, softened cock prominent and lower legs still trapped under him as Marcus lowered him backwards to the bed and moved over the top of him to suck at his neck.  
  
Esca pulled at Marcus's shirt, hauling it upwards and Marcus raised up to let him get it off, pushing Esca's upwards in return. “God, I want to fuck you,” Marcus said, leaning back and running slow hands up Esca's thighs and continuing up the arch of his chest over his nipples, ending with his hands pinning Esca's shoulders under the gathered cloth as Marcus leant down, ready to kiss him.  
  
Esca felt the thrill of anticipation and fear cut into his bonelessness. “OK,” he said, looking up at Marcus. He moved his hands down Marcus's back, under his waistband to feel his arse, “but you’re going to have to let me move before you fuck me; I can’t feel my feet.” He wiggled in demonstration.  
  
Marcus looked down at him, surprise on his face. “I didn't mean _fuck you_ , fuck you.” He rolled them over so that Esca could unbend his legs and helped push off Esca's jeans now his feet were free. “Don't get me wrong, if you want to I will, happily,” he grinned and pulled them both down again 'til they were lying side by side, facing. He moved one arm and stroked Esca's face, “I'm so turned on at the moment, just doing this to you.”  
  
Esca ignored the inner voice saying: _what are you doing?; this cannot end well_. He started undoing Marcus’s jeans, and said, “I want you. I want it to be you.”  
  
*  
  
 _ **Snyder's Snippets**  
The Bloke Whose Blog You Can Trust  
  
  Long term lovebirds model Camilla Hinds, 24, and Marcus Aquila, 27, remembered as a Fulham first-team hopeful and now an aspiring actor, have called it a day. The pair released a joint statement yesterday stating their break-up was amicable, after witnesses posted photos of them bickering in Grimaldi's Restaurant at the weekend ( here & here, oh, and here).  
  
The couple have both been seen out with others in the past but have always ended up back together. Friends say it's different this time and that nobody else is involved.  
  
  Cottia was seen at Trembles club on Monday letting her hair down in all-women company. Aquila, openly bisexual, is believed to be in Newcastle seeing old friends. Last we saw, he didn't have a lot of hair to let down. Hers is famously said to be worth £5 per hair.  
  
Our favourite photographer, Snyder's Snapper Martha Townsend, Gaggle of Geese, caught these photos of Cottia at Trembles. She looks like she's having so much fun without him.  
  
Marcus, if you're listening, your loss is our gain._

 _  
_*  
  
Esca came out of the presentation and retrieved his phone from his pocket. A voicemail, and two texts: Marcus and Cilla.  
  
Cilla  
[ what r u doing and why didnt u tell me }:( ]  
  
Fuck. What did she know and how could she possibly have found out. Trust Cilla to find out before he'd...they'd... worked out exactly what to say to their friends.  
  
They'd been planning to play it as a sort of rebound, but the rebound couldn't have happened yet since Marcus wasn't due up until tomorrow.  
  
He opened the next one.  
  
Marcus  
[ Mini crisis! Don't speak to Cilla until you've spoken to me. Sorry. M x ]  
  
He sighed and listened to the voicemail. Marcus's voice, sounding strained.  
  
  [“Hi. It's me. Call me as soon as you can. I ran into Cilla and … I don't know how she did it – you know what she's like. She managed to wheedle out of me that … we were …. Sorry. She's just like a dog with a bone. Anyway, speak to you later. Call me.”]  
  
He grimaced and hit the call button.  
  
*

  
Marcus looked at him appraisingly for a moment, and said, “I don’t normally fuck boys. But for you, I’ll make an exception. Wait there.” He pulled away to rummage in his bedside table drawer, bringing out a couple of condom packets and a bottle. Esca felt clammy with tension and hoped Marcus didn't notice.  
  
“Any point you want to stop, just say so.” Marcus was kicking off his jeans and boxers.  
  
“Ever the gentleman.” Esca noticed the scar as he replied. “What happened to your leg?” He stretched out on the bed, awkwardly putting his arm out as Marcus lay beside him, going for Esca's t-shirt to pull it upwards and over his head, leaving his hair flopping and his body naked.  
  
“Mmm, long story. Short answer: a swift end to my football career from injuries, and surgery that didn't help. Also put paid to the nude modelling. Hence the academic route – third time lucky.” Marcus laughed, but Esca couldn't tell if he was joking.  
  
Esca smiled at him then looked downwards. “You have a stunning body.” He scratched a fingernail all the way down Marcus's chest and abs, looking up into Marcus's eyes as he took hold of his cock tentatively. Marcus rolled towards him, putting a hand on Esca's waist.  
  
“Wait!” Esca suddenly stopped stroking Marcus and dropped his hand, frozen, staring at him. Marcus made a small sad sound.  
  
Esca said, “You're Marcus Aquila!”  
  
  “Yes,” said Marcus, looking puzzled, amused and frustrated all at once. “You've met me, I think; we've shared some bodily fluids, even if until now it's mostly been spit. I was kind of looking forward to sharing more...” He ran his hand up to Esca's nipple, pressing gently and circling; eyes zeroed in on Esca's mouth.  
  
“No,” said Esca. “Oh my God!” He leant back and looked Marcus up and down. “Oh God, I thought you looked familiar, but I never connected the dots. I just thought I must've seen you in a lecture, but... You're the footballer. Marcus Eagle.”  
  
“Ah. Yes. _Was_ the footballer,” said Marcus, nodding. He screwed his face up oddly. “That all came to a bit of an abrupt end.”  
  
Esca's felt himself colour. “Oh Marcus, I'm sorry. That was insensitive. ... It's just...”  
  
“What?” said Marcus warily.  
  
“I had your photo on my wall. My Dad's company had some involvement in some FA thing and one day he came home with a huge pile of posters of young hopefuls. I had you and one other guy on my wall; you weren't even from my team. I had to trade with my brother for you.”  
  
Esca felt a bit of relief when Marcus laughed. “What did you have to trade?”  
  
“He made me clean his football boots.” Esca smiled, still staring, unbelieving.  
  
Marcus laughed again. “I hope I was worth it?”  
  
  Esca smirked. “Totally. But I never used you for... you know. I can't believe … this is weird.” He touched Marcus's mouth. “God, Marcus. I'm in your bed.”  
  
  Marcus's gaze homed in on Esca's mouth again, and he murmured, “You sure are,” as he leant forwards and kissed him hard; Esca felt his head pushed back as he flung an arm around Marcus to keep his balance.  
  
The kiss softened a little, Marcus's hand threading through his hair and cradling his head.  
  
He could feel Marcus firm against his hipbone as Marcus pulled away eventually. “Do you still want to _fuck_ fuck? Or am I too much for your teenage imagination to cope with?” He was grinning at Esca.  
  
”Mmm. Let's see.” Esca writhed against him. “Yeah. I do. God, it'll be a homage to repressed teenage fans everywhere.”  
  
“I don't know if I can manage a homage,” Marcus laughed, and kissed him again. He broke off to push at Esca's hip. “Turn over; it'll be easier.” Esca twisted over onto his other side, a slight nervousness flooding through him until he felt Marcus spoon up behind him and put a hand over his chest, stroking slowly, and kissing into his neck and shoulder.  
  
Marcus lifted his head and murmured into Esca's ear. “I need to stretch you; it'll make it less likely to be painful.”  
  
  “I know. What do you want me to do?” Esca tried to sound casual - sure - but he could feel his heart beat hard. He pressed his hips back against Marcus and writhed again, feeling Marcus's cock press against him.  
  
“Just lie there and think of … uugh, don't do that if you want me to last long enough to fuck you.”  
  
Esca felt Marcus move to get the lube and tensed up waiting for the inevitable. Marcus kissed his neck again, “Relax gorgeous, and lift your leg up.” He moved Esca's knee upwards. “If it hurts I'll stop.“ Then there were cool fingers exploring; one pressing into him, and he shivered, closing his eyes. “Relax Esca, let me in. I've got you.”  
  
Marcus kept up a chorus as his fingers pressed and turned. All Esca could feel was the intrusion; it was easier when he let his body go softer, despite the odd feeling of pressure as Marcus pushed another finger slowly into him, and began to move inside him.  
  
He hadn't realised he'd tensed up again until Marcus was saying, “Let go baby, just feel me inside you.”  
  
He relaxed his muscles again and leant back into Marcus's warmth, opening his eyes. “Don't call me baby.” It was strange, uncomfortable, dominating, as Marcus continued to play with him, but it was beginning to feel weirdly good.  
  
He reached back over his head to put his hand in Marcus's hair and tugged it slightly. “Are you going to fuck me soon?”  
  
Marcus laughed and bit him gently on the shoulder. “Don't be impatient. You'll thank me when you're not bleeding next time you have a shit.”  
  
Marcus carried on, pushing another finger inside; Esca froze with the sudden pain, and felt Marcus still his hand, pulling him closer where Marcus's other arm wrapped underneath him. He tried not to squirm away and panted, eyes closed, as Marcus whispered to him, “It's OK ba … Esca. We don't have to do this. Do you want me to stop?”  
  
Esca shook his head. It was too much, but he knew he didn't want it to stop. He tried to gather his thoughts. “No. Just … keep still a moment.” He focused on his breathing as he felt Marcus sucking at his neck, the two feelings joining up into one as he felt his body ease. “OK, I'm OK now,” he said, and felt Marcus begin to move. He couldn't tell what Marcus was doing, just that the feeling of stretch and fullness was very powerful; if he kept relaxed it was bearable, and the neck-sucking thing was ... amazing. His cock was hardening again, and he may have started moaning.  
  
“Touch me,” he ordered Marcus, who managed to get his arm round and onto Esca's cock, jacking him slowly. “Harder.” Marcus squeezed his hand and Esca felt the tightening beginning. His body was gripping Marcus inside him, and he could hear Marcus's heavy breathing. “Faster,” he said, and heard the flub-flubbing noise of the hand on his cock; he dropped his head down to look under himself at Marcus's hand working him. He felt Marcus moving inside him, a loud groan as Marcus moved his hips hard back and forth, keeping up the stripping of his cock. He felt so open, and the feeling built from deep inside him, around Marcus's cock, and then it was coming up through his balls, and he joined Marcus's noises as his cock jerked and sputtered. He had to grab Marcus's hand to stop him, and the movement unbalanced him as they both went down to the bed, Marcus groaning his own orgasm into Esca's ear as he pushed forwards, pinning Esca to the sheets with a couple of final thrusts, then withdrawing, carefully, rolling off him.  
  
Esca turned over towards Marcus, only now feeling the wetness underneath him. Marcus had his eyes closed, but opened them and looked at him, smiling. “OK?”  
  
Esca impulsively moved forwards and kissed him quickly. “Very OK.” He lay back breathing heavily still, as Marcus put his arm over Esca's chest, pulling the condom off with his other hand and waving it, uncoordinated, over the side of the bed 'til he found the bin.  
  
Marcus was wrapping himself around Esca, warm and sated. Esca smiled, staring into space. The picture on the wall above Marcus's pillows resolved into a face. Cottia.  
  
An ad-agency poster of Camilla selling face cream or make-up or something. A huge, beautiful portrait in strong vivid colours, ranging from dark and moody on one side to bright on the other. And on the left, on the shadowed side of her face, the poster now had a white hand-print stamped across her cheek. Esca's hand-print.  
  
*  
  
Esca was feeling good; even Mira had complimented him in a genuine way about his mood. Friday afternoon, and Marcus should be in the flat when he got back. It had been a good day, and the weekend was less busy than normal. Already he didn't feel the need to cram it full of engagements – he and Marcus had got along well so far; conversation wasn't a problem, and Marcus had said how much he was hoping for a bit of down-time.  
  
\--  
  
"So. What do you think of my flat?" Esca put four beer bottles on the low table in front of the sofa.  
  
"Well, it's really lovely. And big."  
  
"Why do I feel there's a “but” there …"  
  
"Well. It just doesn't feel very you."  
  
"Very me?"  
  
"Yes Esca. You were always … colourful is how I remember your rooms. This feels more like your Dad's house was. Tasteful, but …"  
  
Esca raised an eyebrow. "Go on."  
  
"...a bit austere. Sorry. I'm not criticising. It's really nice. Just … I feel like I can't imagine you relaxing here very much, getting the place dirty, slumming."  
  
"You're probably right... hmmm, dad's house... very Freudian."  
  
"Shall we mess it up? Have some beers and throw the cushions around?" Marcus was smiling.  
  
Esca laughed. "Now you've told me, I think it might take a bit more than that."  
  
"We could … paint this room a different colour. Liven it up. That's a very gay couple thing to do on a weekend?"  
  
Esca snorted with laughter, then paused. "Yeah. Actually, yes, let's do it. What colour?"  
  
"Well." Marcus looked at him intently, head tilted. "That shirt. The blue. It's a little cool maybe ... but it suits you, and you could keep all the cream curtains and things. Maybe get a rug to match; gold to warm it up a bit, and bring that huge gold-framed mirror in here from your guest room."  
  
Esca grinned. "Is there something you want to tell me; an interior decorator secret life I don't know about?"  
  
"There are many things about me that you don't know."  
  
Esca felt his stomach lurch. "Clearly. I think you might actually have some good ideas."  
  
Marcus threw a pillow at him. "Don't sound so surprised."  
  
"OK. We can start on it tomorrow. We just have to be in a reasonable state when the caterers arrive for people coming round Sunday evening – just another work do, but small."  
  
"Great. I'm pretty tired, so I might crash soon if that's OK?"  
  
"Course." Esca flicked the TV on and started scrolling through his listings. "I've got a few things I want to watch on a quiet night in." He smiled at Marcus, collapsing on the sofa as Marcus sat down too, both of them taking a beer.  
  
  "What's this one?"  
  
"It's about Romans in Britain, and the relation to Rosemary Sutcliff's book- Eagle of the Ninth."  
  
"Oh, I loved that book when I was young."  
  
"Me too."  
  
\--  
  
The living space was transformed, all the furniture shoved together in the middle and covered with cloths, and the pictures removed and stashed in Marcus's room; curtains draped over his bed.  
  
Esca had washed the walls whilst Marcus was laying newspapers all over the carpet and taping them to the skirting boards. Lunch was a hurried affair, both of them eager to get started on the fun bit.  
  
Once the blue started to go on, Marcus doing the wall with his long reach and Esca up a stepladder doing the higher stretch to the ceiling and taking care with the line at the top, the overall effect was pleasant, like a spring day.  
  
Marcus's phone went off, and he stopped painting. “Shit, I don't know that ringtone.” He looked at his hands, both somehow covered in paint, and laughed. “Aagh, I can't get my phone out, are your hands clean?”  
  
Esca laughed at him, and came down the stepladder, holding his paintbrush carefully in one hand as Marcus indicated which of his pockets it was in. Just Esca's luck that he'd now have to start fishing in Marcus's tightish jeans' front pockets; really not what he was comfortable doing right now.  
  
He tried to slide his clean left hand into Marcus's left hand pocket. He couldn't get the angle of his hand right to get it in. He laughed a little as he moved round behind Marcus to slide his hand in more comfortably and grab the warm phone - _I'm not going to think about what I'm doing here_ \- pulling it out and pressing the button - just after the phone went silent.  
  
“Shit,” they both said in unison. Esca held up the display for Marcus: Valery C. Esca asked, “Valery Corsair, the director? Do you want me to call her back?”  
  
Marcus hesitated, and then the phone sprang to life again, a different noise. “Text,” said Marcus. “Open it.”  
  
Esca held it out as they both read it.  
  
Valery C  
  
[In Ncastle with time on my hands til 8. Turns out you're here with the BF, Bill said. Wanna meet up if you're free this pm? Valery]  
  
“Fuck.” This time it wasn't quite in unison.  
  
\--  
  
"Let me just see if it is the same colour as your eyes... hold still." Esca twisted out of the way but Marcus held him, squirming, and dipped his finger in the paint, painting two stripes under Esca's eyes on his cheeks, like american footballers.  
  
"You'll pay for that," Esca growled, not able to make too much of a fuss with Valery around.  
  
Marcus flashed his eyebrows playfully. "Oh yes, how will you make me do that? Although, I'm willing to pay quite a high price for that look."  
  
"Marcus! Stop." He glared at Marcus, holding his gaze, and feeling his heart beating fast. He was surprised when Marcus bent his head and paused, clearly waiting for Esca's permission to kiss him.  
  
His heart rate picked up again, and he turned his face away. "No kisses for you when you've just painted me!" He pulled back, but Marcus held him a moment.  
  
Valery was looking on with a fond expression, smiling at them.  
  
Esca swallowed, and got away finally, stomping to the bathroom to rub at the paint on his skin.  
  
\--  
  
"You're a delightful pair." He heard as he came back.  
  
"He's lovely isn't he," he heard Marcus reply.  
  
"Yeah, you should do some shoots together - Julian would kill for shots of the two of you together. You're a gorgeous couple ... and you look really happy Marcus."  
  
"Thanks." Marcus was smiling gently as Esca came back into the room, scrubbed.  
  
Esca glared at him. "I am not forgiving you yet, Marcus Aquila."  
  
\--  
  
"She should stay here." Esca was whispering.  
  
Marcus whispered back, making hand gestures for emphasis. "Yeah but, you know, rooms? We can't make her - or either of us - sleep in the living area, it smells of paint."  
  
"OK. You're supposed to be sharing my bed. You'll just have to actually share it."  
  
Marcus looked at him. "Are you sure?"  
  
"It's not like we haven't done it before. Shh, she's coming back."  
  
"OK. Let's do that." Marcus spoke louder: "Valery, you can stay here. It's not a problem. We just need to make some space for you in the guest room – it's all messed up 'cos of the decorating."  
  
"Oh boys, that's very kind of you. Thank-you. That'd be so much nicer than a hotel, and everyone's apparently finding it hard to find anywhere with the flights grounded and no trains to London until 5.30 tomorrow morning. I've got work with me, so you can get on with ... whatever you were going to do tonight." She all but smirked at them.  
  
"Mostly tidying up after decorating," said Esca. "You'll give us an incentive to do it fast."  
  
"Well, I'll go and do the room," said Marcus, trying to signal Esca with his eyes behind Valery.  
  
Esca nodded, OK. He assumed Marcus meant he was going to retrieve his stuff from the guest room.  
  
Marcus said, "Are you any good at cooking? Stay here and help Esca – he was going to make something simple – we can't leave too much mess cos we have to clear up for tomorrow. Is that all right love?"  
  
Esca felt a jolt go through him, and he stared at Marcus for a moment, before answering. “Yes, sure.” He turned to Valery. “I was just going to do a simple pasta sauce with some prawns. Is that OK for you?”  
  
\--  
  
Marcus and Valery were packing the dishwasher and clearing things into the fridge. Esca felt -- well, actually very mellow. Valery was pretty good company, and had left them to it when they were putting the room back together, then they'd spent the last hour or so talking over another bottle of wine in the kitchen, leaving the living area with all the windows wide open to air out.  
  
Valery straightened up and stretched. “I'm going to head to bed now if that's OK with you two; hope I've got an early start if the planes or trains are running tomorrow. With a bit of luck I'll be gone by the time you surface – don't get up in the morning, and I'll try not to make a noise, but show me if there's anything weird about your front door, Esca and give me the number for a taxi would you? ”  
  
Esca showed her how the locks worked and rang the local taxi-firm, giving them her mobile number for the unutterably early call.  
  
She hugged each of them, and gave Marcus a huge grin, “Look after each other. It was lovely to meet you Esca; I hope we'll meet again.”  
  
Marcus and Esca looked at each other after they'd gone back into the kitchen and heard the bathroom door shut; Marcus was grinning. “I think that went really well.”  
  
Esca was smiling too – he'd genuinely liked the woman, but he couldn't pretend to himself that he wasn't nervous. Tonight's pretence was not yet over. Now he had to share a bed with Marcus, and appear to be unmoved by the experience.  
  
That would definitely be a first.  
  
*


	2. Part Two

  
Three days. Esca reflected as he got off the train and walked home; he'd done the first three days and he was OK so far. In fact, they'd had a very nice weekend. Their conversation was a little stilted and weird at times, but they'd enjoyed wandering round exploring; Esca showing Marcus the sights whilst the weather was unexpectedly warm. The two events they'd been to had been pretty stuffy affairs, but suitable for being photographed in a low-key way.   
  
Esca was happy with his strategy: to keep them both busy, preferably surrounded by other people. His normal schedule was pretty hectic with social events blurring with work, so it wasn't too difficult to fit Marcus into the plans. Marcus might not be well known yet, but he had a certain following, and he certainly prettified most affairs. And the world might be less metropolitan up here than London, but these days there were no public occasions that wouldn't welcome them together; he'd taken dates to various affairs before and no-one had batted an eyelid – or not in front of him anyhow.   
  
Not the football though; he hadn't dragged Marcus there even though it killed him to miss the home game. Add that to the sacrifices.  
  
Physical contact was a bit weird. They'd hugged at first, and shared a genuine kiss, short and sweet, and then shared a few more hugs and light kisses deliberately in public, but the rest of the time they were dancing around each other like high-school virgins. It was so much the opposite of their previous life they'd managed to comment on it the second day, laughing together.  
  
–  
  
“And this is Marcus Aquila, my … boyfriend.” God, it should be easy, but he'd felt himself blush. It wasn't the first time he'd taken a boyfriend to these sorts of affairs, but he'd never actually said the word out loud about Marcus before; another opposite; they'd only ever denied it on the few occasions in the past when people had made assumptions.  
  
Introductions completed, they took their seats, ate the meal, strategically chatted to other guests and watched the floor show. Esca now had vivid memories of moments from that night: Abe Farlowe's off-colour jokes provoking a strong reaction from Sam Hindley's wife – Anita - he could remember her name so he hadn't been completely off his game; the over-harsh lighting in the men's toilet cubicles where he'd sat with his head in his hands for a few minutes to get his bearings; the pink dress the singer was wearing. But mainly he remembered Marcus: how tall he seemed in the rather sleek suit; his smile and charm working on Sam; the feel of his hand on Esca's shoulder as cameras flashed when they arrived.  
  
\--  
  
That first night they hadn't had much time to talk – Marcus's train was delayed, and then they were in company, and then they were agreeing to talk tomorrow. Then Marcus was in the next room, asleep, and Esca was -- tired but wakeful. He wasn't going to masturbate.

OK. He wasn't going to think about Marcus.

OK. He wasn't going to worry about anything until tomorrow.   
  
OK.  
  
Now Esca had been back into work and Marcus was going back to London tomorrow morning. Nothing had hit the websites or papers yet – they weren't so well known that anyone was _that_ interested; certainly not interested enough to go to corporate do's, but Marcus's agent was working on getting something out there.   
  
As he came in the door of his apartment, he could hear Marcus speaking; one side of his conversation, vehement at first and then fading off, sounding sadder.  
  
“I didn't think it would be so hard!”  
  
“It could ruin the whole arrangement.”  
  
“He's not … we don't have that kind of relationship.”  
  
“Yes. Yes I still do.”  
  
“Love? Maybe, but not that kind.”  
  
“Oh God. I miss you.”  
  
“I need you. I need you here, but I know it'd screw everything up. I'll have to learn to live without you for a while, sweetheart.”  
  
Esca felt a flash of pain and envy, but it was overwhelmed by sympathy for the emotion he could hear in Marcus's voice. He hadn't thought about what this must be doing to Marcus and Cottia; he had been obsessed with his own take on it all, being selfish as usual.  
  
Esca backed up and made sure to make lots of noise in the hall, and walked into the room. He didn't know if it was OK to ask. Perhaps he should wait for Marcus to bring it up. He was calling the shots here after all.  
  
*  
  
Esca could feel the bed rocking beneath them where they were squeezed together, one of Esca's hands clutching Marcus's t-shirt where he'd pushed it up to lick Marcus's nipple.  
  
“Esca. Esca ... Esca!” Marcus's orgasm was quick as Esca jerked him; clothes still on - mostly - and hair flopping sweatily.  
  
After a couple of moments, Marcus recovered his abilities and went back to work on Esca, pushing him onto his back and swapping sides so he could use his right hand more easily. Esca felt the tide rising inside him as he watched Marcus grasp him again. “Uuugh. Harder. Marcus, faster. Yeah, like that, oh, yeah … uuugh ... Uuuugh.”   
  
Marcus had cleaned them both off and rolled away to give them space to cool off, one hand still on Esca's shoulder. Esca could hear his breathing deepening into sleep and knew he should get up and go back to his place or take his clothes off and get them both in bed, but right this minute he didn't seem to be able to move.  
  
*  
  
"Penelope! That's a really personal question!"  
  
>Which I notice you're not answering. Well?  
  
Esca put the phone on handsfree so he could carry on pottering about the kitchen and stirring the curry he was trialling; he'd put a few things in the freezer for when Marcus came. He was also stalling for time.  
  
… "Yes. Yes we did." As much honesty as possible; that's what they'd agreed.  
  
>Oh my God! And you never told me. How could you. No, seriously, _how_ could you – you're not very good at secrets. Wow.   
  
"I'm not proud of it. I just ...wasn't sure of my sexuality, and was desperate not to let my family know, well, not to let anyone know."   
  
>What about Cottia?   
  
"Oh, she knew. That's why … it was sometimes difficult together. I really like her, but there was always a bit of tension, competition."   
  
>Wow. So, you and Marcus. But -- he was sleeping with other people.   
  
“So was I. We weren't _together_. It was just, you know, like fuck buddies, only we didn't have the name for it then.”  
  
>And ... what is it now?  
  
"Honestly? I don't really know. We'll see how it goes."  
  
>You were always a bit odd about him.   
  
"What do you mean?" Esca started chopping coriander leaf with his favourite knife.  
  
>You know, sometimes you were inseparable, and sometimes you were weird, like you'd fallen out, only you both used to deny there was anything wrong.  
  
"Yeah, well, it wasn't easy being his fuck-buddy when I was trying to keep it secret and he wanted to tell everyone. He was too open, and I was too … repressed."  
  
>Oh Esca! You really were. All those girls.  
  
He could hear her laughter. "You were one of them."  
  
>Yes. Lucky we figured out we were better friends than lovers eh? When you came out I thought that's what it was.   
  
"Yeah. Well, it was."  
  
>Yeah, maybe. So now?  
  
"What?"  
  
>Now you're together, properly. God, he didn't finish with Cottia because he finally managed to pin you down?!  
  
"Don't be daft." Esca tried to sound more casual than he felt.   
  
>So why _did_ they split up? He was always pretty open about his arrangements – well, except about you apparently – and she was the constant one.  
  
Esca tried to think of something convincing. "He always said it wasn't a forever kind of love with Cottia."   
  
>Oh. But what changed?  
  
"P-lope, I don't know." Penelope always was too sharp.  
  
>So. You and Marcus. You know each other so well, and now you're publicly out and together. Is this _it_ Esca; true love?  
  
"I don't know that either." Esca stirred the pan and watched the green swirl into the red. "We'll let you know."  
  
*  
  
Esca remembered too many times they'd shared a bed before. Sweaty from dancing usually. Fucked-out. He tried to remember if they'd ever just shared from being tired and conveniently in each other's rooms and not had sex, apart from that first time.   
  
No.   
  
He brushed his teeth and tried not to see the pictures his mind was throwing up: Marcus sucking him; Marcus jerking him; Marcus lying back, eyes closed and panting like a dog; Marcus on all fours the first time he fucked him, beautiful and begging; Marcus asleep, eyelashes dark against his cheeks.   
  
Oh God. He'd taken precautions: as quick a wank as he could manage in the shower, and he was wearing his baggiest, ugliest pyjamas.  
  
He went back into the bedroom. Marcus was sitting on the bed, still dressed, looking at a small heap of his stuff in the corner of the room. He looked up at Esca with a rueful expression.  
  
Esca said, reassuring, “We can do this; I think it's going OK.” Marcus nodded at him as he went on, “Bathroom's all yours.”  
  
Marcus was a long time in the bathroom. Esca was lying in bed facing the bathroom door – he didn't want to switch his favourite side; tonight was going to be hard enough. Marcus came out and hesitated, then walked round the bed to get in the other side.  
  
“This is weird.” Marcus sounded funny. Peculiar funny. “I don't think I've ever slept with you in a proper double bed before.”  
  
“Plenty of room even for you in here.”  
  
“Yeah, acres of space.”  
  
“Just stick to your own side and we'll stay good friends.” Esca was trying for jokey, but he knew he sounded funny as well.   
  
“Thanks Esca. For all of this.” Marcus was serious for a moment, and then he too seemed to need to be jokey to break the tension. “And you know, if you need me in the night, just wake me up with a blowjob and I'll be all yours.”   
  
“You wish.”

 

"Mmm." Marcus huffed a small laugh. "Night Esca."

 

"Night. Sweet dreams."  
  
Esca wished. Would he have the nerve to do something like that?  What would happen if he did? Oh, for fuck's sake.  
  
It was going to take him so long to get to sleep.  
  
*  
  
“I've been offered a job for Vogue. In Paris – cliché or what?!”  
  
“That's fantastic Marcus. When is it?”  
  
“It's the end of next week; someone dropped out so it's a bit last minute. So, I'm sorry I won't be able to come for the awards thing you have.”  
  
“I'll miss having you as my arm candy for the night.”  
  
“Ha ha. The thing is... Cottia will be on the shoot.”  
  
“Oh.”   
  
Marcus was looking at him, watching for his reaction.  
  
Esca schooled his features to neutral, and reached for the sympathy that was hiding behind the envy. “Is that going to be a problem for you? Will you be OK being together, but not together?”  
  
“Well. It's going to be a bit tough. When we've worked together before, we've always been able to go and blow off steam afterwards. It'll be odd not to do that.”  
  
“I know you're doing this for your career, but I'm sure it's ...I don't underestimate how hard it is, not being with her.” He went for a lighter tone. “Hey, I'm not with anyone and I'm finding it hard; no sex for six weeks now.”  
  
Marcus muttered something and smiled back, strain showing a little, then said, “To be honest, it _will_ be difficult and … it would be easier if you were there. Could you come to Paris, after your thing? I'd like you to be there – but I know it's asking a lot.”  
  
Esca was surprised into answering without thinking. “Maybe, yes. I'd have to get Mira to rearrange my diary, but I don't think there's much that she and Alex aren't perfectly capable of handling.”  
  
\--  
  
Esca held Marcus's hand and leaned over the balcony looking at the view; Paris spread out below. The camera clicked behind them, and Joe told them to turn over their shoulders, looking inwards towards him, then to look at each other.  
  
Esca felt his guts tighten as he and Marcus held the pose. Too long. He was feeling the hackneyed phrase: drowning in his eyes. Marcus leaned in and he moved forwards instinctively to meet him halfway. Marcus kissed him softly, theatrically, as the camera clicked away.  
  
“Great.” The photographer interrupted them. Esca opened his eyes as Joe gave more instructions, getting Marcus to put his arm round Esca; both of them leaning back on the balustrade, beautiful view in the background. Joe said, “We should have recruited you too Esca, you're a natural,” as he moved a chair so that he could stand on it for a downward-looking shot; flattering angle, and more of Paris in the frame.   
  
Esca laughed. “Don't fall off that chair – this isn't part of your work so you're not insured if you break a leg.”  
  
Joe laughed too. “I'll sue Marcus; he asked for these extra shots and he's got plenty of money to pay my hospital bills.”  
  
Marcus joined the laughter. “Not any more my friend. Not a lot of the stash left; that's why I'm trying to work for a living.”  
  
“You call this work,” Esca said. “Standing around looking pretty.”  
  
Marcus laughed again. “We work really hard, don't we Joe?”  
  
Joe said dryly, “It's very hard work getting Marcus to look pretty; it takes all my talent, and _very_ good lighting. Now, make my job easier and stand in front of him. Facing me. Yes, like that, lean back on him.”  
  
Joe had taken a few shots before Esca felt Marcus lean in to his neck and start to kiss him under his ear above the tight collar. Joe said, “Marcus,” and Marcus looked up. The camera whirred again. “Smile,” said Joe. Marcus tightened his hold around Esca who closed his eyes against the feelings washing through him. He barely moved as he felt Marcus's hand at his throat loosening the tie and undoing his top button, leaning in to mouth his neck again inside the collar. Esca was glad Joe was here. It was quite easy to get lost in these sensations, but his sense of the photographer's presence kept him from falling too far as he pulled Marcus's hand closer in to his body.   
  
“OK boys,” laughed Joe, “I can tell when I'm not wanted.”  
  
\--  
  
“Sorry. It was too good an opportunity – Joe's a good photographer and I thought it would be good to get some nice casual photos out there.”   
  
“I just...” Esca paced the room, trying to recover his composure.  
  
Marcus sat down. “I think I know. I -- I felt really turned on doing that with you. If you're feeling as horny as I am, well -- I'm sorry. I know you're missing sex, and I know you don't want me to offer.”  
  
“You don't know.” Esca kept his voice down.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You don't – god Marcus, I love having sex with you. That isn't the problem. That wasn't the problem. That was never our problem. We could have sex now, I'd love it and you're right, I'm randy as hell after that, but ... it's not what I really want.”  
  
“Oh. What do you want?”  
  
“I want …" Esca turned towards Marcus. "What do you want Marcus. What do you really want?”  
  
Marcus hesitated, looking vulnerable. “I want this to be really real.”  
  
Esca couldn't hear him. “What?”  
  
“You in my arms and wanting me. I really want that.”  
  
Esca looked up and tried to control the feelings rising up from his stomach. Marcus and his easiness. He was worried he was going to cry.   
  
“I can't … deal with that.” He turned abruptly, and left the room, stalking along the corridor and downstairs, two at a time, until he hit the foyer, and then went out into the street. After a while he slowed down, and noticed the tears in his eyes, brushing them away.

Shit, this whole thing was such a bad idea.  
  
He remembered the morning's shoot, tagging along so he could go to the Eiffel tower. They'd done their ground-level shots yesterday before he'd arrived; today they had a very early morning slot before the crowds were allowed in, and he'd joined them straight from the airport. He hadn't really thought it through, but of course fashion shoots were full of couples posing together, practically fucking, and half-naked. It was alright with the black woman, Lucille, but he could barely watch as Marcus and Cottia were arranged and dis-arranged. He also couldn't interpret the looks Cottia had kept throwing his way.  
  
He kept walking; Marcus's face floated in front of him every time he tried to push it away. He should have told him; told him why this was so hard. Marcus wanting him just made it worse. Marcus and his too-easy acceptance – take it where you can get it. He just couldn't bear to be so...

He was tangled up so tight he couldn't breath.   
  
His phone went off. Oh God. He needed to man up and deal with this.   
  
He ignored it.  
  
He finally slowed down and took his bearings. He wasn't sure where he was, so he turned round and started re-tracing his steps. There was a cafe after a couple of streets, and he went inside. No coffee, he was jittery enough. A beer; cool and clear.  
  
He sat down as his phone went again: a text.  
  
Cottia.  
  
Oh no.   
  
[Ring me. Now. Pretty please.]  
  
Shit. He hoped Marcus was OK too.  
  
He took a sip and lifted the phone.  
  
“Esca.” She sounded breathless.  
  
“Hello Cottia.”  
  
“Thanks for ringing. Listen, are you OK?”  
  
“Yes. Fine. How are you?” He could play it cool.  
  
“Look, I'm sorry for interfering but where are you?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Can I come and talk to you? I tried your room and round the hotel but you're not here.”  
  
“No, I'm...OK, but... I'm not sure where I am.” Esca looked at the menu. “Cafe Plessis, Rue de St Jacques, apparently.”  
  
“Stay there. I'll come and find you.”  
  
–  
  
Esca looked up and signalled as she walked in.  
  
She came over as he stood up and she hugged him tight. It was weirdly like they were friends.  
  
A waiter came over and took their order; she nodded for the same, as Esca ordered another pression.  
  
“So.” Esca wasn't really in the mood for being told off.  
  
“Esca." She sounded warm, concerned. "What's going on? Marcus is in a state and you don't look great.”  
  
He raised his eyebrows at her. “What do you think is going on?”  
  
She looked at him closely. “I think that the two of you have just had some kind of – thing, and you're both upset.”  
  
He glared.  “I don't know how the two of _you_ do this, but I wish I hadn't got involved with you and Marcus and your games.”  
  
She looked down and was quiet for a moment as the waiter came over with their beers. “I'm sorry. I didn't think it would work out like this when I suggested it.”  
  
“How _did_ you imagine it?”  
  
“I thought... I thought one of you would finally tell the other one how you feel and you'd live happily ever after.” She was looking at him quite seriously.  
  
“What!?” He coughed on the mouthful of beer.  
  
“I...It seemed like a golden opportunity to put the clock back.”  
  
“What?”  
  
She put her hand on his on the table. “Esca, what just happened?”  
  
Esca paused, trying to resist pulling his hand away. He looked at her closely. “What did Marcus say?”  
  
“He said..." She looked back at him. "You asked him what he really wanted. He told you he wanted you.” She blinked as her voice quietened. “You left him.”  
  
There were tears in her eyes and Esca felt them rise again in his own. He forced out, trying to keep his voice level: “Are we fighting over him? Because I know I don't stand a chance next to you.”  
  
“Oh God.” She laughed, strangely. “Is that what this is about?”  
  
“Cottia," he choked a little, "he loves you. He's always loved you.”  
  
“You're an idiot Esca.”  
  
Esca pulled his hand away, and felt his face go icy again. Cottia looked at him and shook her head. “No I don't mean... Esca. He loves you. Yes he loves me, always has, always will. But, he's not in love with me. We haven't been in love since I was about 18.”   
  
He knew he looked sceptical. She leant forward to continue. “The open relationship? It's real. But it's something we started -– because we wanted it, really, but it had the advantage of pissing off our parents and our friends; keeping people at a distance until we were ready.   
  
"And it was good sex," she went on. "I can't deny the attraction of that, and making a stand, and protecting Marcus from homophobia. Helping both of us through our disappointments in love. Then it just became what we did, what we are. Still were until very recently. Still might be, depending on a couple of other people and what they think.” She lifted her eyebrows at him.  
  
He couldn't resist giving her the cue. “What's changed?”  
  
She looked at him through her eyelashes. “I fell in love with someone else. With a woman. I know right? Marcus and I, we're such living clichés. But she's not ready to come out publicly, and if she's with me she's going to get lots of media attention. So we're biding our time until she's told everyone she wants to tell.”  
  
Esca shook his head. ”I heard him on the phone to you, talking about love. He was desperate to see you. I... I felt sorry for you both.”  
  
She frowned. “The only call I've had with him was... oh. Oh. You know – he was telling me how much he loved you still, but he didn't think you felt like that for him.”   
  
Esca stared at her.   
  
“He's been in love with you for a long time Esca. He thought he'd missed the boat; he tried to get over you. Then … that's why I encouraged this; pushed it even. Because I could see it in your eyes at Luke and P's wedding. I thought you probably still loved him too.” A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked at him. “Do you? If you do, you need to tell him.”  
  
Esca fought his own tears again, and fumbled for a napkin to use as a tissue.  
  
Cottia drained the last of her glass. “I'm sorry for playing god with you.” She wiped the tears from her own face and laughed a little. “The stylists are going to kill me tomorrow – we're all going to be red-eyed.”  
  
Esca swallowed and reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze. “Thanks Cottia. I don't know what to do now, but let's go back.” He stood up and pulled his wallet out, looking for the right unfamiliar note to put on the table. She took his hand again as they moved to the door, and he gave it another squeeze and tucked it in his elbow.   
  
*  
  
Marcus lay back as Esca rolled out of bed and put his boxers and trousers back on.  
  
“Will you come with me?” Marcus was asking him.  
  
“What? Isn’t Lady Camilla coming to hold court?” Esca caught Marcus’s look at the nickname as he put his T-shirt back on.  
  
“No. I thought maybe we could go - together. This time.”  
  
Esca felt the familiar feeling grip his innards - he wasn’t sure if it was guilt, fear, shame or pride, but he wanted it to stop. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s too public.”  
  
“Your Dad’s not going to hear about it! It’s a small uni ball.”  
  
“These things get out Marcus: hell, you have enough of a profile to make it worth someone’s while, and so do I.”  
  
“So who will you go with? Which one of the Esca cotery?”  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
“I want to take you.”  
  
“You should want to take Cottia - she’s your chosen one.”  
  
“What do you care about Cottia!” Marcus was raising his voice.  
  
Esca responded. “I don’t care about Cottia, but you should.”  
  
Marcus turned and stared: “What! You really think you’re better don’t you; stringing those girls along all thinking they’re going to get a piece of Mr Magnate, and maybe become Mrs Magnate if they play their cards right.”  
  
Esca took a breath to shout back, and looked up at Marcus’s blazing eyes. He felt himself go cold, icy, wanting to throw a wall up between them to protect his inner self. He didn’t really want this argument, but at the same time he wanted to hurt – wound - this man looming over him.

 As he took a breath some element in the back of his mind cautioned him; he didn’t want to lose this. But he couldn’t carry on this middle way; way too little and yet too much. He had to stop it, defend himself.  
  
He broke eye contact and said, holding himself still, “OK. Point taken. I’ll keep out of your hair and you can stay out of mine. Let’s...”, he took a step backwards and sat on the rumpled bed. “I don’t want to lose your friendship Marcus, it means a lot to me. I’m sorry I was a jerk about Cottia; I do care for her and I’m glad you’ve got this … “ he waved an arm, “thing together that works for you.”  
  
Marcus looked at him. “I didn’t mean …” he started, then made a frustrated gesture. “OK, OK.” he carried on, “Yeah, I want us to stay friends. Maybe … maybe we should -- back off a bit though, you know, not spend as much time together -- in situations where we end up in bed?” He couldn’t quite meet Esca’s eyes now and was moving, packing his stuff into his bag.  
  
Esca could feel his chest tighten. “Yeah, that’d probably be a good idea.” He couldn’t quite look at Marcus either. “Friday night, drinks with the boys -- I’ll see you then?”  
  
“Yeah, OK.” Marcus flicked his eyes at Esca as he moved to the door. “I’ll -- see you then. Friday.”  
  
Esca fought to keep his expression neutral. “Bye Marcus.”  
  
*  
  
The hotel was quiet when he got back to their floor. Lots of these cutesy Parisian hotels were tiny, even the posh ones. He hesitated outside Marcus's door; he wasn't quite ready for whatever this denoument was going to be.   
  
Be careful what you wish for, was the Chinese proverb.  
  
All the way upstairs he wondered; did he wish for a life with Marcus, if that was what was on offer?   
  
Who was he kidding. He'd never felt happier than that moment waking up in his flat with Marcus's arm around him, before he remembered that this wasn't real. Before Marcus woke up too and they'd moved apart quickly; Esca getting up and quashing his feelings in the familiar manner; neither of them mentioning in the cold light of day how they'd come to be like that.   
  
He still didn't quite understand what was going on with Cottia, but she'd offered him free range with Marcus if that's what he needed. Something else to sort out, but maybe not at the moment.  
  
Walking along the corridor he remembered how bitter he'd been about Cottia, and about Marcus's deep connection with her. He'd felt like he'd never had a chance.   
  
Looking back he wondered if he'd used that as a shield; an excuse for holding himself back. He remembered the pain on Marcus's face when Esca had refused to go to that ball with him.   
  
He'd been so young.  He'd refused to give Marcus what he needed; open recognition – not so much of their relationship, whatever that had been, but of his love.   
  
Time to do something about that; he could at least tell Marcus his true feelings. He knocked on the door.  
  
*  
  
Usually Esca enjoyed these monthly Sunday lunches with his Dad, brothers and assorted friends and girlfriends. But his brother Danny was pushing it today. His father had asked after Marcus - he'd dragged Marcus along to several of these occasions in the past - and whether they'd seen much of each other since university. “Wasn't he the lad who played football and then got injured; what's he doing now?”  
  
“He's an actor, and modelling occasionally. Do you remember meeting Cottia? They're both working in London.”  
  
“She was the redhead?” His father nodded. “I remember.”  
  
“Esca's got a new favourite footballer now.” Danny smirked.  
  
Esca glared at him.  
  
Danny smiled sweetly at him. “I hear you've been hanging around with Ramone Vargas. Is he as skilled as they say?”  
  
His Dad wasn't stupid. Esca kicked Danny's shin under the table, and he yelped as Esca answered. “He's settling in well. I think … he's a live-wire – I think he's just what the team needs.”   
  
“You should bring him along next time,” his dad invited. Danny made an “I told you so” face across the table, but Esca was ignoring him.  
  
\--  
  
As Esca put the last few things away and dried his hands, finally he and Danny were alone. “Jesus Danny, you pretty well outed me.” Esca felt the anger bubble back up. “What's your problem?”   
  
Danny looked surprised at Esca's vehemence as he brought the mugs over to the table and sat down.   
  
Esca went on. “This is my life; we're not kids anymore.”  
  
“I'm sorry Esc." He did look genuine. Though you could never tell with Danny. "I didn't mean to -- take it too far.”  
  
“You're an idiot.” Esca could already feel the anger slip away.   
  
“I just got into teasing you – there's something about these family things. I am sorry.” Danny moved his mug around, and looked up seriously at Esca. “But you need to tell him - soon.”   
  
“I know, but you know how hard it is to talk to him.”  
  
“Esca. Ramone Vargas - it's not subtle. If you want to do it on your own terms...”  
  
“You're right.” Esca stood up. “I should do it now.”  
  
“Now?” Danny looked surprised.  
  
“Yeah, whilst he's still in a good mood.” Esca put his mug next to the sink.  
  
“I think you'll be surprised how positively he takes it when you tell him.”  
  
Esca scoffed.  
  
“No seriously, I think … he's done a few sermons on tolerance and understanding.”  
  
“Yeah, but it's different when it's your own son." Esca smiled nervously. "If he has me murdered, you can have all my things.”   
  
Danny stood up. “Do you want me to come with you?”  
  
Esca laughed and shook his head. “No Danny. But thanks for the offer. Just – have your phone on when you get home.”  
  
*  
  
“Come in.”  
  
Esca opened the door and went in to Marcus's room. “Hi.”  
  
Marcus looked shocked to see him. He was sitting at the top of the bed, knees bent up and feet tucked under the covers. His face looked drawn. “Esca.” He struggled with a smile. “Cottia got to you didn't she? I told her not to.”   
  
Esca felt rooted to the spot, looking at Marcus on the bed.  
  
Marcus went on, “I shouldn't have done this ... asked you to do this. I didn't want to ...” He stopped talking and swallowed, then took a breath. “Valery Corsair just rang to confirm I got the part. I couldn't talk to her. I'll ring her back and tell her the truth, later. I'm sorry Esca.” He put his face on his knees. More muffled, he said, “please ... I can't talk to you now.”  
  
Esca's heart leapt as he moved forwards. “Marcus.”  
  
Marcus shook his head but didn't look up, his arms round his knees. Esca reached the bed and put a knee on it to reach over. As he touched Marcus's shoulder, Marcus flinched and a sob escaped him.   
  
“Marcus.” Esca climbed on the bed and pulled hard to get Marcus into his arms. “Marcus, baby. I'm an idiot. You're an idiot. Luckily for us Cottia is not an idiot.”  
  
*  
  
Marcus was giving him the fiercest look, burning into him as he felt his insides dissolve. He gasped for breath as he tried to hold Marcus's gaze, but the waves of pleasure were pulling him under. He could hear himself on each laboured out-breath, chanting his desire.   
  
Marcus shifted about on his knees and Esca remembered the injury, breaking his trance for a moment; “You OK?”   
  
Marcus nodded, “I just need to ...” He gathered Esca up and rolled them both over, grinning when he finally lay back with Esca above him. Esca rearranged his legs to bring his weight onto his knees and put his hands on Marcus's chest. “I hate that you can do that,” Esca laughed.   
  
Marcus laughed too. “You don't hate this though, do you?” He rotated his hips and reached for Esca's cock again as Esca dropped his head forwards and angled his body to feel Marcus inside him, rocking with Marcus's movements.  
  
Marcus was staring at him again. Esca rode him, feeling the heat rise up his chest. Those eyes. He leant forwards, keeping his own eyes open and focused until he was squashing Marcus's arm between them and his vision blurred with the nearness.   
  
Marcus's lips were soft as his arm came round Esca's shoulders to hold him firmly. They stilled, barely moving for a few moments and just kissed, Marcus's fingers winding into his hair.   
  
Finally Marcus's grip tightened in his hair and round his cock, and Marcus pulled away from the kiss, holding Esca's head and thrusting upwards. “Esca,” he gasped, his hand beginning to move faster on Esca's cock. “Esca, I can't...” he jerked his hips and almost pulled Esca up by the hair as his free hand jacked Esca's cock rapidly. Esca got his hands under him to hold his weight away from Marcus's upper body, feeling Marcus's cock deep inside him, pushing into him.  
  
Marcus moaned loudly and there was the recognisable flutter inside as Marcus's orgasm peaked, with Marcus still gasping his name; “Esca, Esca.”  
  
Esca slid his hands up to Marcus's shoulders and leant down to kiss him again. He felt the odd slithery feeling as Marcus's cock slipped out of him, whilst Marcus kissed back, slowly, dreamily, licking his tongue round Esca's mouth and playing with his hair.   
  
“Mmm,” said Esca, “that gives me an idea. I want you to suck me now.”   
  
He shuffled up Marcus's body until he was comfortably astride his chest, and bent forwards so that Marcus could suck the head of his cock. Marcus suckled for a while, unable to get much in his mouth at this angle, then licked it lazily, flicking his tongue around and around. Esca groaned with want; he needed more to come, but this was delicious.   
  
Marcus wriggled a little so that he could get a bigger mouthful, and also began to stroke his arse and the backs of his legs, trailing his fingers and skimming them along the cleft of his buttocks.   
  
Esca looked down at his cock, shinyness glinting as it moved over Marcus's beautiful lips. Marcus's eyes were on him as he felt fingers push into his arse, against the sweet scrapy friction of Marcus's tongue on his cock.   
  
His breathing was ragged and he couldn't get enough breath as he felt his body opened. The tightness transformed into pulsing orgasm as he came, shouting, in Marcus's mouth; Marcus licking and twisting his tongue; Esca's thighs shaking.   
  
As he came down, Marcus shifted him over and pulled him down into the bed, rolling alongside him and cradling Esca's head up on his shoulder, getting rid of the condom in the process. So well coordinated, Esca thought idly.  
  
Marcus said, “That was... possibly the best sex ever.” He was kissing Esca's hair. “Who'd've thought love would make so much difference.” Esca could hear that Marcus was smiling, trying to get a rise out of him, but he was rapidly succumbing to the early morning, the beer, and the release from days, perhaps years of tension. More talking could wait until he woke up.  
  
*  
  
Epilogue  
  
“Thanks for coming,” said Cottia, hugging him. “I wanted to ask you something but it's a bit difficult to bring up with Marcus around.”  
  
Esca felt his blood run a little cold at her serious tone, and wondered what on earth she might need to talk to him about on his own, and without Grace around either. “OK,” he said warily.   
  
“I think this is definitely a glass of wine and a sit-down conversation.” She poured a glass for him at his nod and he sat down opposite at the tiny dining table, looking out over the tops of the trees in the park.  
  
“You're worrying me Cottia” he said, as she took a large sip from her own glass. “What is it? I thought you were happy with how things were going?”  
  
Esca's mind was racing. Grace and Cottia had celebrated their civil partnership a year ago, but perhaps he and Marcus talking about following suit had resurrected feelings of ownership Marcus and Cottia had for each other. He'd thought they'd all got comfortable with how things stood. Though he and Cottia were never going to be best friends, they were almost cozy together. Seems he might have thought wrong.  
  
She looked at him, nervously playing with her necklace. “It's not anything bad, but it is a big decision. Um, you don't need to decide now, I just want to put the thought there; let you mull on it a bit, maybe talk to Marcus about it.”  
  
She took his hand. Now he was really worried.   
  
She took a breath, not quite looking at him; “Grace and I are talking about having a baby.”   
  
He stared at her a beat. When she was still quiet, his mind backtracked; what? He thought he'd better say something. “That's great.” He carried on though he had no idea what he was going to say. “Are you thinking of having the baby or is Grace?” OK; that wasn't too bad.  
  
She smiled. “Me probably; first time anyway. But we wanted to ask you...” she came to a halt. His brain finally caught up.  
  
“Oh ... you want Marcus to be the donor?” They hadn't actually talked about it, but other couples they knew were involved in various arrangements – twenties and thirties and it seemed everyone was considering it.   
  
“Not exactly,” she said, still not looking at him. “We wondered if you would be?”  
  
“Me?” He almost yelped.  
  
“Yes Esca.” She looked up. “You'd be perfect.”  
  
“Why not Marcus, you're so close already?”  
  
“Well, that's why really.” She paused and took a sip. “Marcus and I will always be very close; we're already practically family to each other. This would be a way of -- including you too, if you were willing.” She laughed a little; “Plus, it might be a smaller baby.”   
  
“Oh.” Esca said.   
  
“As I said, there's no pressure. We're just beginning to talk about it at the moment; not off the wine yet,” she waved her glass around, “but if you were interested, we're keen on having you both involved in parenting too; not just being sperm donors.”  
  
“Oh God.” He put his glass down.  
  
“Obviously we'd all have to talk about it a lot.”  
  
He spread his hands flat on the table.  
  
She laughed gently at him. “I've shocked you? I should maybe have asked you both together, but I didn't want to ask you with Marcus around in case he was totally enthusiastic whilst you had reservations. I know what he's like, and … we'd always talked about having children together eventually.” She took another sip of her wine and squeezed Esca's hand. “I won't say anything to him if you don't want to talk about it.”  
  
He shook himself. “God no.”  
  
She looked taken aback, and said, “Not the reaction I was hoping for, but OK, fair enough.”  
  
“No Cottia,” he pulled her hand towards him and kissed it. “No, I didn't mean God, no, I meant, no, you can talk about it all you want; I don't want to get in the way of that. I'm just … it takes me a while to get used to things, especially things to do with you and Marcus. But,” he looked at her, wide-eyed, “I feel -- flattered and interested, and … I have no idea how I feel about this, but I will talk to Marcus about it.” He could feel a wave of emotion, adrenaline, something, wash through him; he was slightly disconnected from his body.  
  
Cottia always talked a lot when she was nervous. “I know there are so many practicalities; you've just been talking about moving here and I don't want to bounce you into that either, just cos it suits me and Grace to have you round the corner. Mind you,” she raised an eyebrow sceptically, “it might be a hard sell to get all three of us to move to Newcastle.” She looked at him and paused; “I'll shut up now, and let you think.”   
  
He looked at her; aware there were tears in his eyes.   
  
She squeezed his hand, murmuring something that he thought might have been, “Oh baby”.  
  
He kissed her hand again, taking a breath.   
  
“Thanks Cottia,” he said. "For everything."  
  
The End


End file.
